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Family & Friends: F-Word #4

Family & Friends

/ˈfam-lē/ noun  a group of persons of common ancestry

/ˈfrends/ noun  one attached to another by affection or esteem

Let’s talk about family and chosen family... aka your closest friends. I believe we are spiritual beings having a human experience here on Earth. One of the biggest ways that our soul grows and evolves while we are here, is through our relationships. The relationships that we have with others provides us a mirror and shows us which spiritual lessons we are here to learn this time around.

Those that we are closest to, either through birth or by choice, are the most important “things” we have in our lives. And yet in my experience, often times, they are the first to go on the back burner when we need to work long hours, or feel the stressors of money. We end up either not spending quality time with them or when we are with them we are checked out and not present, or even worse, we take out our negative emotions and frustrations on them. Think of the angry person figuratively “kicking the dog”. Shutter! And yet we’ve all done these things. Because we are all human and imperfect. And that’s okay. It gives us the chance to always do better and be more.

So think now of those that matter to you most - your significant other, your children, your best friends, your parents, your siblings, even your grandparents if they are still with you. Take a moment to really think about what each person means to you. How often do you spend quality time with them? In this technological world, we can spend quality time with someone in a virtual “face to face” even if they are halfway across the world. Are you spending the amount of time you would like to with the RIGHT people?

Put that thought on hold for just a moment and let’s look at the flip side of the coin.... those that are family and/or long term friends who maybe no longer “fit” in your life. I have yet to meet someone who doesn’t or hasn’t had someone in their life that had become toxic and was actually hindering their personal and spiritual growth. I believe that when this occurs, it is also part of growing spiritually and one of the lessons in that is letting go, releasing, and trusting that person is on their own spiritual path and the “loss” of you is part of their agreement with you on a spiritual plane and they also have a lesson to learn in it all.

Trust me, I know completely how difficult the letting go process can be. So be kind with yourself if you have people in your life that maybe it’s time to release and you have yet to do so. It will happen as you continue to nurture yourself and cultivate your self-love and believe in your self-worth. We will talk more about the “how” to do this in future trainings.

Now, let’s focus back on those relationships that are the most valuable to you. Imagine each one as a precious gem, that is truly priceless. Now ask yourself about each separate person:

  • How am I doing in taking care of this precious, unique, priceless gem of a person?
  • When was the last time I expressed appreciation to this person I care about?
  • How often do we spend quality time together?
  • Do I know how they like to be loved and appreciated and express it to them in their language? (If you have no idea what this means, check out the book The 5 Languages of Love)

Wherever you are currently with your Family and Friends, is exactly where you are meant to be. Evaluate, assess, and then ask yourself what you really want from those closest relationship. The key here is what do YOU really want. Not what others want from you, or what you think you should do or be. What do you really want from your closest relationships?

And if you find yourself lacking the types of quality relationships you truly desire, congratulations! WIth awareness and desire you can now start to attract and cultivate those relationships that matter so much.

Please don’t gloss over this F-Word. I personally believe this is the one, that if you don’t put your intentional focus on during your life, it will be the NUMBER ONE REGRET you have at the end of your life.

So now take a moment to think of ONE special Family or Friend you want to reach out to in the next 24 hours and connect with, ask how they are, tell them how much you appreciate them, or any other action that is on your heart.

Cherish the ones you love. Time goes so fast. Never forget what is truly most important.


Brenda F Reynolds
Founder & Owner
The F Words of Life


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